Principles of Uncertainty

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May 16, 2013

The uncertain glory of an April day. – Proteus, Act I, Scene III of The Two Gentlemen of Verona by William Shakespeare

The element of uncertainty was rife through most of April, casually to conclude by this Friday. Upon locating a job as a 3D Game Artist which ticked every box that fills my portfolio (Maya, Unity, Game Industry experience etc), it was quickly applied for and waited on with decent interest. The level of interest increased as a response back, about 5 days later from the recruiter, outlining the job a bit more in greater detail. An uneasy quiet period followed for a week or so before I nudged an inquiry, a response came about shortly after about some project stalling for a few weeks. I had my concerns, but waited patiently the two weeks. Still through this period I had not picked up any freelance or regular work, although I believe I got rejected by a library. I still glanced through the ads daily. The second call came on May 6th, a Monday. Originally this was to be a contract job, four months at the most, yet this call spoke of something more – the offer of a more permanent solution.

It was at this moment the little girl inside of me audibly went ‘Squeee!’. Inside my head of course, though I’m pretty sure the recruiter could detect my excitement. Funnily enough, a few days later I was approached for a 3d animation job, similar to one I did last year. Turned it down, but managed to pass the job onto another in my network, so all is well.

With a few more days to go until the final, final word to go from 90% of the way there to a confirmed yes, I’ve made a number of preparations to ensure most of my loose ends are tied. Regardless of the results, I’ll still be heading up on a bit of a road trip with my Dad to deliver a car to my brother, and the following week a few events that I’d planned to go to for months. Nothing fancy, just a few mentoring sessions on property investing. So really, this all would have had me up in Auckland eventually, be it a few weeks to indefinitely. This is not the element of uncertainty I speak of, but did well to influence it nonetheless.

Meeting people can be fleeting, or it can grow into something more. A shared interest here and there, then suddenly a friendship strikes. Comfort lies in that friendly rapport, but more often than not something of value must be exchanged. Otherwise it’s just small talk that never goes anywhere. Not to say that the information wasn’t useful. With the understanding of the situation, the timing of it all was quite bad. ‘Out of sync’ she would say on one of our meetings, and that was only about lunch. In the end, lifelong dreams and aspirations take priority, and those around us tolerate the social absences as one keeps focus, away from distractions that would otherwise become detrimental.

I have a tendency to analyse things to death, or at least close enough that it can still keep going, be it stories, projects and sometimes people. My logical, rational thought processes are quite content at handling things as though they were puzzles to be solved. People are no exception, though I do tone it down once I become friends/acquaintances/co-workers. Otherwise it gets a bit on the creepy and annoying side. Since mid April, irrational feelings trickled through like a leak in a dam, exploding through as the floodgates opened and stayed as such for nearly four weeks. The two sides of thought, constantly at odds with each other, only coming to some amicable truce in my writing, which thankfully arrived and calmed me at the right times. Some good randomness happened though; new glasses courtesy of my long-time friend Tammie at SpecSavers Riccarton Windmill, a rekindled (not on a Kindle though) interest in fantasy literature and science journals, and the confident drive that leads me to finish writing stories for once.

Uncertainty. The rules, the principles of uncertainty is that there are none. To fly by the seat of your pants and worry about the consequences later. No plans, no analysis, no reassurances of any kind. They were headache inducing, crazy, paranoid bouts of nonsensical conflict. And I loved every minute of it.

Except Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle. You don’t mess with that shit.

Working on Fateful Temptations

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April 4, 2013

April, the start of new things to come. I’ve dropped a project I had been working on for the last 3 months, an additional 3 or so months in the planning. Much to the disappointment of my team mates, it had to be done.

With that sad part out of the way, I’ve started looking for work now. Looking through ads over the last few days, applying to the few that seemed interesting, all in the hopes that I can be hired with such a varied, yet unmastered skill set. Beggars can’t be choosers, but at the same time, there’s no point in applying for a job you can’t do.

So, it’s April, and what’s on the horizon thus far? Well, apparently Camp NaNoWriMo is going on, and I’ve somehow been pulled into another frantic month of writing. I’ve nothing planned though. I could resume the one I never finished last year in November, but for some reason that feels like a story that requires more time and thought applied to it. I’ve considered a couple of other stories to write; something of a crime novel in a contemporary setting, and a newer idea involving a pair of adventurers in a fantasy setting. We’ll see what I feel like later tonight when I get the mood to write. Imagination is a tricky one to force, and can be overall detrimental, but we’ll see.

The Christchurch Annual Brick Show is coming up in June. Haven’t really prepared anything to exhibit, due to a number of responsibilities eating up my time. However, I had been asked to take the lead on a rather large project for the event: a rather large (3.45m x 1.15m) brick based mosaic. Now, this is something I’ve never done before, but it’s within the scope of my capabilities. Plus it should be a fun experience.

Other things going on: an online Gamification course at Coursera has started up again, which I enrolled into earlier this year. I missed last years one. Some of my friends who’ve done it have mixed opinions on it, but I’m interested in what it outlines nonetheless. Shouldn’t take up a whole lot of time either, and plus, it’s free :)

My life is starting to gain a semblance of order again. Hopefully for the long term. :)

Write Or Flame Thrower?

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December 20, 2012

Over November I participated in National Novel Writing Month again. This was the second time since 2010 that I attempted to write some 50k words in a month. Needless to say I failed again. This time however it wasn’t decreasing motivation to write, but more the increasingly limiting time to write over that November period. Planned everything, and somehow hoped to get it done within the time, it ultimately stressed me out a bit with trying to fit things in. I have a solid story though, so once I’m back from China, I’ll work on it through the January to February period because its one of two stories I actually see the end to, which is incredibly refreshing given how I normally end up making story ideas with no real conclusion. With a new game project slated for the new year with a 6 month development time (or less!) as well as some other external commitments, hopefully I can spare a few moments out of my days to scribble things down.

As I mentioned before, I’m finally working on a game project again. It’s been almost a year since and I feel that the break from it to explore other options has brought me back to what I love doing the most; making products that people will enjoy and have fun with. The only difference is that I’ve decided to expand my repertoire and work on the development as opposed to the art side of things. I’m quite excited, so much so that I’ve been researching whilst on my holiday! Relax, only been doing it in the downtime, like on the sleeper train trips with hardly anything to do and over the boat trip where they had the most relaxing of reading areas. I’ll talk more about my trip in the next blog. Can’t overload you readers with too much in one sitting.

This blog post however was written on my iPhone, using shocking China wifi in Chengdu, a city deep in the mainland, and a pretty, young girl sitting across from me, whom which inspired me to write today. What series of events in the near future that will culminate into spontaneous bouts of inspiration only time will tell. This is the GameMonkey, signing off until I return back home.

zài jiàn!